Several
points seem to be ignored with this kind of argument. For one, there
is confusion of a personal with a political solution. Sex roles
and male supremacy will not go away simply by women becoming lesbians.
It will take a great deal of sophisticated political muscle and
collective energy for women to eliminate sexism. So at best a lesbian
relationship can give a woman more happiness arid freedom in her
private life (assuming both women are not playing roles). But a
radical feminist is not just one who tries to live the good non-sexist
life at home; she is one who is working politically in society to
destroy the institutions of sexism.
Another
assumption implicit in the argument of lesbian-as-the-vanguard-feminist
is that having balked at one aspect of sexismnamely, exclusive
heterosexuality.they are therefore radical feminists. Any
woman who defies her rolebe it refusing to be a mother, wanting
to be a biochemist, or simply refusing to cater to a mans
ego is defying the sex role system. It is an act of rebellion.
In the case of lesbianism, the act of rebellion often has earned
the woman severe social ostracism. However, it becomes radical only
if it is then placed in the context of wanting to destroy the system
as a whole, that is, destroying the sex role system as opposed to
just rejecting men. Indeed, there can be reformism within lesbianism
too; when a lesbian says I have nothing against men; I just
dont want to be involved with them, she is really describing
an accommodation within the sexist system even though she has performed
the rebellious act of violating that system by being a lesbian.
It is also In this context that a statement like feminism
is the theory; lesbianism is the practice is erroneous. For
not only is the sex of a womans lover insufficient information
to infer radical feminism, but there is also the false implication
that to have no men in your personal life means you are therefore
living the life of fighting for radical feminist change .
The
notion that lesbians have no need for men at all also needs clarification
First of all, since we are all women living in a male society,
we do in fact depend regularly upon men for many crucial things,
even if we do not choose to have men in our personal relationships.
It is for this reason that one woman alone will not be fully liberated
until all women are liberated. However, taking the statement to
mean having no need for men in personal relationships (which can
be an important achievement for women, since one should obviously
want the person, not the man), one must still ask the question:
has the male role been discarded? Thus again the crucial point
is not the sex of your bed partner but the sex role of your bed
partner.
Gay Movement as a Civil Rights Movement
The
organized gay movement seeks to protect the freedom of any homosexual,
no matter what her or his individual style of homosexuality may
be. This means protection of the transvestite the queen, the butch
lesbian, the couple that wants a marriage license, or the homosexual
who may prefer no particular role. They are all united on one thing:
the right to have sex with someone of ones own sex (i.e.,
freedom of sexual preference).
As is
clear from the wide range of homosexual behavior, not all modes
necessarily reflect a dislike for sex roles per se. Nor was the
choice necessarily made deliberately. The boy who grew up trained
as a girl, or the girl who was somehow socialized more toward the
male role, did not in their childhood choose to reverse sex roles.
Each was saddled with a role (as were we all) and had to make the
best of it in a society that scorned such an occurrence. Merle
Miller in an article in the New York Times- (January 17,
1971), where he "came out as a homosexual, said Gay is
good, Gay is proud. Well, yes, I suppose. If I had been given a
choice (but who is?), I would prefer to be straight His point
was not that gay is sick but rather that he did not choose his
gayness. And, furthermore, had he been trained heterosexually,
society would have been a great deal easier on him. Which is a
very understandable sentiment given the cruelty and discrimination
that Is practiced against homosexuals. In such cases the bravery
and rebelliousness is to be found rather In the ability to act
out homosexuality in spite of social abuse.
In writing
to change oppressive laws, electing officials who will work toward
these ends, and changing social attitudes which are discriminatory
against homosexuals, the gay movement is addressing itself to its
civil rights It is my feeling that the gay liberation issue is
in fact a civil rights issue (as opposed to a radical issue) because
it is united around the secondary issue of freedom of sexual
preference. Whereas in fact the real root of anti-homosexualIty
is sexism. That is the radical gay person would have to be a feminist.
This tracing of the roots of gay oppression to sexism is also expressed
in Radicalesbianss Woman Identified Woman:
It should
first be understood that lesbianism like male homosexuality is
a category of behavior possible only in a sexist society characterized
by rigid sex roles and dominated by male supremacy . . . . In a
society in which men do not oppress women, and sexual expression
is allowed to follow feelings the categories of homosexuality and
heterosexuality would disappear.
Bisexuality
One
position taken by some lesbians is that bisexuality is a cop-out.
This is usually argued in terms like until all heterosexuals
go gay, we are going to remain homosexual, or lesbianism
is more than having sex with women; it is a whole life style and
commitment to women. Bisexuality is a sign of not being able to
leave men and be free. We are women- (not men-) identified women.
The
first position mentioned is an apparently tactical argument (though
it has also been used by some, I think, to dismiss the discussion
of bisexuality altogether by safely pushing it off into the Millennium),
and makes the case for politically Identifying yourself with the
most discriminated against elementseven though you might
really believe in bisexuality.
Taking
that argument at face value (and I dont completely), I think
it Is a dangerous thing to advocate politically. For by, in effect,
promoting exclusive homosexuality, they lend political support to
the notion that it does matter what the sex of your partner may
be. While I recognize the absolute necessity for the gay movement
to concentrate on the freedom of people to sleep with members of
their own sex (since it is here that discrimination exists), it
must at the same time always be referred back to its larger, radical
perspective: that it is oppressive for that very question even to
be asked. As a matter of fact, if freedom of sexual preference is
the demand the solution obviously must be a bisexuality where the
question becomes irrelevant.
I think
in fact that the reason why bisexuality has been considered such
an unpopular word by most gays is nor to be found primarily in
the arguments just discussed, but rather in gay adherence to a
kind of fierce homosexual counter-definition which has developed.
That is, a counter identity-- a life style and world
viewhas been created around the fact of their homosexuality.
This identity is so strong sometimes that to even advocate or predict
bisexuality is considered genocide The following
is an example: In a response to a statement by Dotson Rader that,
as bisexuality is increasingly accepted as the norm, the position
of the homosexual qua homosexual will fade," one gay response
was that The homosexual, like the Jew, is offered the choice
between integration or the gas chamber.3
It is
not with the actual gay counterculture that I want to quarrel;
I think it is a very understandable reaction to an intolerable
exclusion of homosexuals from society. To be denied the ordinary
benefits and interaction of other people, to be stripped of your
identity by a society that recognizes you as valid only if your
role and your biology are properly marchedto
be thus denied must of course result in a new resolution of identity.
Since gays have been rejected on the basis of their homosexuality,
it is nor surprising that homosexuality has become the core of
the new identity.
The
disagreement will feminism comes in an attempt to make a revolutionary
political position out of this adjustment. The often heard complaint
from feminists that we are being defined once again by whom
we steep with is correct, I think. The lesson to be learned
from a feminist analysis of sex roles is that there is no behavior
implied from our biology beyond, as Wilma Scott Heide has noted,
the role of sperm donor and wet nurse 4. A woman has
historically been defined, on the basis of biology, as incomplete
without a man. Feminists have rejected this notion, and must equally
reject any new definition which offers a woman her identity by
virtue of the fat that she may love or sleep with other women.
It is
for this reason, also, that I disagree with the Radicalesbian concept
of the woman-identified woman. For we ought not to be
identified on the basis of whom we have relationships
with. And here is a confusion in such a term; it seems to mix up
the biological woman with the political woman. I think the often
used feminist definition of woman identified as meaning
having identified with the female role in society is more useful;
it refers to a specific political phenomenon of internalization.
So far as finding a term which describes womens solidarity
or sisterhood on the basis of our common oppression, the term is
feminism. Beyond that, what is left is the biological female--an
autonomous being who gains her identity by virtue of her own achievements
and characteristics, not by virtue of whom she has a love relationship
with.
Once
we begin to discuss persons as persons (a word which doesnt
ask the sex of an individual) even the word bisexuality
may eventually be dropped, since implicit in its use is still an
eagerness to inform you that it is both sexes. Perhaps we will finally
return to a simpler word like sexuality, where the relevant
information is simply sex among persons.
If you dont sleep with women ........
If you
are a feminist who is not sleeping with a woman you may risk hearing
any of the following accusations: Youre oppressing me
if you dont sleep with women; Youre not
a radical feminist if you dont sleep with women; or
You dont love women if you dont sleep with them.
I have even seen a womans argument about an entirely different
aspect of feminism be dismissed by some lesbians because she was
not having sexual relations with women. Leaving aside for a minute
the motives for making such accusations, there is an outrageous
thing going on here strictly in terms of pressuring women about
their personal lives.
This
perversion of the personal is the political argument,
it must be noted, was not invented by those gay women who may be
using it now; the womens movement has had sporadic waves of
personal attacks on womenalways in the guise of radicalism
(and usually by a very small minority of women). I have seen women
being told they could not be trusted as feminists because they wore
miniskirts, because they were married (in one group quotas were
set lest the groups quality be lowered by unliberated women),
or because they wanted to have children, This rejection of women
who are not living the liberated life has predictably
now come to include rejection on the basis of the unliberated sex
life.
The
original genius of the phrase the personal is political
was that it opened up the area of womens private lives to
political analysis. Before that, the isolation of women from each
other had been accomplished by labeling a womans experience
personal. Women had thus been kept from seeing their
common condition as women and their common oppression by men.
However,
opening up womens experience to political analysis has also
resulted In a misuse of the phrase. While it is true that there
are political implications in everything a woman qua woman experiences,
it is not therefore true that a womans life is the political
property of the womens movement And it seems to me to show
a disrespect for another woman to presume that it is any groups
(individuals) prerogative to pass revolutionary judgment
on the progress of her life.
There
is a further point: Even the most radical feminist is not the liberated
woman. We are all crawling out of femininity into a new sense of
personhood Only a woman herself may decide what her next step is
going to be. I do not think women have a political obligation to
the movement to change; they should do so only if they see it in
their own self-interest. If the womens movement believes that
feminism is in womens self-interest, then the task at hand
is to make it understood through shared insights, analysis, and
experience. That is, feminism is an offering, not a directive, and
one therefore enters a womans private life at her invitation
only. Thus a statement like you dont love women if you
dont sleep with them must above all be dismissed on
the grounds that is is confusing the right to discuss feminism with
the right to, uninvited, discuss a womans private life and
make political judgments about it.
However,
taking the issue presented in the above accusation (outside of
the guilt provoking personal context-provoking guilt is a tactic
not so much for informing as it is for controlling others), there
are several points to consider. One element of truth is that some
women are unable to relate sexually to other women because of a
strong self-hatred for themselves as women (and therefore all women)
But there may also be many other reasons. A woman may not be interested
in sleeping with anyone- a freedom women are granted even less
often than the right to sleep with other women. She may not have
met a woman shes attracted to. Or she may be involved with a man
whom she likes as a person, without this necessarily being a rejection
of women.. It should also be noted that the women who suffer from
strong self-hatred may not necessarily find it impossible to relate
sexually to women. They may instead find that taking the male part
in a lesbian relationship will symbolically remove them from their
feminine role. Such a woman then may become one who balls women
so as not to be one.
All
in all, as has been noted earlier, there us no magic that makes
lesbianism proof positive of any high feminist motives. Rather
what, what the woman brings to their relationship as far as relinquishing
sex roles will, I think, determine her ultimate altitude about
really loving other women.
Conclusion
Homosexuality,
with its obvious scorn for the rules of biology, challenges
a cornerstone of sexist ideology and consequently makes most men
nervous. There is at this time less fear of female homosexuality
than of male homosexuality, possibly because men still feel secure
that isolated lesbian examples will not tempt most women away from
their prescribed feminine roles, and perhaps also because lesbianism
is frequently seen by men as something erotic (it seems, alas, we
can still remain sex objects in mens eyes even when making
love to each other).
With
male homosexuality, however, men (and thus male society) are more
personally threatened. The precise irony of male supremacy is that
it is a system rationalized on the basis of biology but actualized
through socialization. Deviants who inadvertently were socialized
differently, or who chose differently, are thus a threat to the
premise that biology is destiny. Thus, to have another man break
rank is to threaten all mens group supremacy status. Also,
for a man to leave the superior group is to
go down- that is, become inferior or feminine.
Frequently male homosexuals may may touch on the- unspoken fears
in many men that they are not powerful and manly enough
to fulfill their supremacy destiny and the gay male thus becomes,
the symbol of total male failure. Still other men display a
robust camaraderie (a la Mailer) where “buggering” a fellow
male obviously means that one would have to play woman and good
fellowship wouldnt allow another man such degradation.
To understand
mens fear of homosexuality, their, is above all to understand
mens fear of losing their place of power in society with women.
And to hold that power men must preserve both the absoluteness of
their ideologies and the group unity of their members.
It must
kept in mind that while homosexuality does contain an implicit
threat to sexist ideology, it is, at best, only a small part of
the whole fight to bring down the sex role system. (Indeed, if
the gay movement were to be seen as only the demand for the right
of making role transfers within society, for example, it would
work against feminism by supporting a reformed version of the sex
role system.
Thus
it is only in the most radical interpretations that lesbianism
becomes an organic part of the larger feminist fight. In this context
it joins the multitude of other rebellions women have been making
against their prescribed role be it in work, in law or in personal
relationships. As with all such rebellions, they are only personal
accommodations to living in a sexist society unless they are understood
politically and fought for collectively. The larger political truth
is still that we are women living in a male society where men have
the power and we dont; that our female role is
a creation that is nothing more than male political expediency for
maintaining that power, and that until the womens movement
alters these ancient political facts, we cannot speak of being
free collectively or individually.
Footnotes
1. Anon. Vortex, Lawrence Kansas
2. T.B., letter, Everywoman. March 26, 1971
3.Letter to the Editor. Evergreen, May 1971
4.Judith Hole and Ellen Levine, Rebirth of Feminism (Chicago.
Quadrangle, 1971) p.76